Being a Mom is Hard

I never thought that it wouldn't be hard, but it is hard in different ways than I would have thought . . . and I only have 1. How do people take care of more than one? How did James' mom take care of 6 or my grandma's with 5 or 8?

This little girl is plenty!

• Some nights Molly goes to bed just fine. Other nights, like tonight, she screams hysterically forever . . . so I go get her. We sat and watched the end of Biggest Loser with James. She's fine. She's eating ice. I say, "Molly, it's time to go to bed." She says, "Bye, bye Dad" about 7 times, blows him kisses, lays her head on my shoulder and I think we're in business. NO!!!! She screams as soon as we hit her room and she screams for another 20 minutes before finally crashing. Ug. We're pretty routine. She seems to like her room. I don't get it. I hate having to just leave her in there crying, but if I go get her, it just starts all over again. Last night she went down fine and was out in about 2 minutes.
• Earlier, we were watching a few of her favorite Sesame Street Youtube videos (her latest favorite is an Elvis Costello/Elmo one with Cookie Monster. She bounces and giggles.) She's totally relaxed and enjoying the songs. Meanwhile . . . OUCH! . . . she's pinching my hand as hard as she can. "Molly stop. That hurts. Molly, No!" Ug.
• Earlier again, she got out of the bathtub and was on our bed while I was trying to get her diaper and pajamas on. She moved from one side of the bed to the other. She stayed as far away from me as she could. She would NOT cooperate. I had to call in the secret weapon, "James, can you come here?" She holds perfectly still for him and he gets her pajamas on in a few minutes. Ug.
• Like going to bed, she sometimes is fine about being dropped off at school and other times she screams. Today, she was fine and was headed to show Miss Nancy some cool rocks she had found. I quietly stepped out the door out of her sight. As soon as I leave . . . SCREAM!!! They assure me she only cries for 30 seconds after I leave and then she's fine the rest of the day, but it totally puts a bummer on everything when I have to start my school day off by leaving a screaming baby to go teach obnoxious kids who could care less about what we are doing. Sigh.

To focus on the good . . . she really is pretty good most of the time. She's a perfect angel for her grandparents. Everyone at school loves her. She is trying to talk . . . please, cheese, keys, stuck, bye-bye, Momma, Dad, Molly, more, out, two, shoes, and a few others I'm probably forgetting. She has started to figure out how to color and that it can be pretty fun. Some new crayons and a notebook kept her entertained last Sacrament Meeting for a good 20-30 minutes. She loves candy, marshmallows, yogurt, hot dogs, and cheese. She gags on apples and any fruit in the yogurt. She memorizes everything and knows exactly where to go (in anyone's house or at school) to find what she wants. She's getting better at not getting drenched by drinking fountains. She loves to fill and empty containers. She tries to put any clothes on her legs like pants. She loves to try on other peoples' shoes. She is friendly and likes to say hi to people. She has perfected the art of blowing kisses, waving, and saying bye-bye to anyone and everything. Bye-bye water in the tub. Bye-bye bubbles in the tub. Bye-bye house. Bye-bye toys. . . . . except, of course, bye-bye mom. I just always have to sneak away or get cried at. Sigh.

Oh well. I'm not complaining. I'm just venting. I can't imagine anything without her . . . . she just screams so loud!