20 December 2010

Christmas is Coming, an introspective.

Christmas is Saturday! I love Christmas. I am excited that Santa Claus will finally be making it to our house this weekend. I'm pretty confident that he is coming this year. He hasn't come to our house since I've been married. I think he forgot about us (or maybe we just didn't make it on the nice list, I don't know). But, with Molly now added to our family, he is coming!

Tonight we went on a Petersen Family Outing to Smash Burger and then to see the lights on temple
square. It was fun.

I love Molly and I can't imagine life without her, but it has been a huge adjustment this year trying to do stuff for Christmas while taking care of her. I feel like I only have one arm and I haven't been nearly as helpful to my Grandma as I usually try to be.

On Sunday we had several talks in church about the "real" meaning of Christmas. The essences of the talks were that we need to remember the birth of the Savior and not focus so much on the commercial side of things. I agree with this, of course, but I also think that people tend to be a lot more Christ-like during Christmas than during other times of the year. Is it possible to balance the giving of gifts with being Christ-like? I think as long as we are in the "giving" frame of mind and not the "getting" frame of mind, we DO have the real spirit of Christmas. I don't know.

Several people I know have had close relatives die in the last few days. I was just reading my
cousins Melanie's and Jodi's blog about how their Grandpa Hardcastle who just passed away yesterday. My friend and visiting teacher partner, Beverly, called me Friday night to tell me her brother passed away (and we had 2 other deaths in our ward announced on Sunday).

I think old people are really cool and I have been fortunate to have great relationships with my grandparents. I worry about my Grandma Huber. She keeps plugging along, but her engine is running out of steam. She literally turns blue a lot lately. My Grandpa won't turn up the oxygen. She fell a week or so ago because she passed out. She's had a couple of episodes at night (at least only a couple that I know of) where she knocks the the air hose off and gets lightheaded and probably almost passes out, but my Grandpa's able to get it back on. Usually when I go out there lately (and even while I'm there) she just puts her head down on the kitchen table, like it's too heavy to hold up.

My Grandma is amazing, though! Despite the fact that she can't
breathe and can hardly walk, she just finished purchasing Christmas gifts for 52 people. She doesn't just buy 1 gift, but 2, 3, or 4 for each person. My cousin Melinda and Annie and I got them all wrapped in one afternoon plus one evening. That was a record. It is usually a week-long process. Plus, all of these gifts don't include the gifts she gets for her neighbor kids as well as larger gifts for less-fortunate people in her neighborhood (usually sent out by random unidentifiable grandchildren with specific instructions to say "this gift basket is from Santa").

One of my uncles told my Grandma that she shouldn't do all this Christmas stuff anymore because she's too old. I think this really upset her because she's told me about it twice. What does he know? I don't think he has any idea how important this is to her. We had a couple of confusing present moments over the last few weeks when she said, "Maybe he's right," but all in all it's actually been a much smoother Christmas preparation for my Grandma than it has in years. The list of "things we forgot" or "things we still need to buy" was much shorter than in previous years. And, thanks to my mom and sister, I think it was all taken care of pretty quickly.

Here's an e-mail I sent to my cousin, my mom, and my sister in October after a hectic day of setting up "the boxes" or present collectors in my grandma's back bedroom/office.

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Christmas projects that may or may not need attention:

*Packages. Many of them. Grandma can't really shop anymore. She and Grandpa will venture to Sam's and Shopko on their own. Occasionally she'll let my mom take her to Kohl's. Everything else comes from catalog orders. If you see packages on the porch, near the front door, or in the tv room, ask if you can open them, and put them in the big boxes in the office. Make sure she writes everything down in her notebook.

*Decorating. The Saturday after Thanksgiving is usually decorating day. Do you have any idea how many Christmas decorations Grandma has? Tons!!! They are stored in the basement cupboards in a gazillion plastic tubs. It's a full day event and help is much appreciated! There are a few things Grandma likes to do herself to contribute - put out the Christmas village on the china hutch and the nativity on the sofa table. She can sit in a chair and do that if you give her the box, but everything else is more than she can move.

*Wrapping. This is the biggest feat of them all! Consider that there are 3-4 gifts (or more) per person and times that by 52 of us (actually 50 since she doesn't buy anything for herself and usually doesn't wrap Grandpa's gifts). It all has to be finished by the Sunday before Christmas (grandma's deadline). It takes 1-2 weeks. The house can't accommodate too many wrappers at once and you have to be careful about who's stuff you are looking at. Go slow and be patient to do what Grandma asks you to do. Pull one box out of the room at a time. Lay out every item in the box on the table to get a pile for each person, then wrap one person's at a time. Grandma checks her notebook for each person to make sure nothing is missing. This is a bit crazy because for the last couple of years, Grandma can hardly read her own handwriting, sizes are wrong, items are lost (her throwing aim can be a bit off in the box room), etc. JUST BE PATIENT. Help her talk through problems and sometimes just bite your lip and wrap it anyway! Again, make sure she writes down everything in her notebook. Or, if she needs to make a list of "things that are lost" or "things still need to buy" maybe offer to write it for her. These "rules" are not mine, they're Grandma's and by telling you all this, hopefully you can help her and neither of you will get too stressed out!

* Sam's Club. She and Grandpa buy people things from Sam's. This can't happen until all of the gifts are wrapped because they have to have a place to put it all. It will all go in the office after everything is wrapped (hence the wrapping needs to be done the weekend before Christmas). I used to help with this, but I think Lori has kind of taken on this part. Just be aware.

* Christmas Sacks. You remember when someone used to leave gifts on the porch (I still think it was Jackie and John by the way)? Well, ever since then, Grandma has prepared Christmas sacks to give out on Christmas Eve because she didn't want the little kids to be disappointed if no one left anything on the porch (which hasn't happened since we got out of high school, but that's ok). She orders a big box of stuff from Oriental Trading and divvies it out in bags for each of the kids younger than Parker (and a bunch of neighbor kids who she'll send someone to secretly deliver to their houses on Christmas Eve). The sacks are usually done a day or two before Christmas Eve. Willie, James, and I did it last year. Meranda has done it before, too. It's also crazy. You just have to be patient and do what Grandma says as she methodically decides which toys go in which bag.

* Christmas Eve Dinner. Needs lots of set up and preparation. Plan to help that day.

* Christmas Eve Gifts. Before everyone leaves on Christmas Eve, we sort the presents into family piles around the living room.

* Christmas Day Food. Grandma is usually wiped out and just sits in her chair on Christmas Day. There is usually a ham and stuff for sandwiches, as well as lots of other fixins'. People are usually helpful to get it out, but just be aware.

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My grandma loves Christmas. I love my grandma. I can honestly say that not only is she the best grandma that anyone can ask for, but she is probably one of my best friends. That doesn't mean she is the sweet, cookie baking grandma because she's actually the drive-up window, put you in your place grandma. I can't imagine a Christmas without her and when that day comes, it will be a sad one.