12 January 2013

Grandpa's Talk

Today I decided to go to a funeral.  Phyllis, a lady who lived one street over from my Grandparents, passed away this week.  I grew up in the ward she was in.  I think my dad was the Bishop when her husband died.  Her oldest daughter and her family lived in our Granger ward and her youngest daughter was my most favorite young women's leader (you know, the leader who's car you always fought to be in).  Her family has always been close to my mom's family, but I really went to the funeral today to listen to my Grandpa speak.

I sat on the back row with my dad, my mom, and 3 of my mom's sister's.  My Grandpa talked about how neat this lady was and that he was happy to have the opportunity to speak.  Here are the highlights I want to remember.

  • I sat by Betty Mae Plott.  She smelled significantly of old lady perfume and I have had it in my nose all day.  She also was really embarrassed when part way through the funeral she realized one of her zip-up-the-side snow boots was unzipped.  I helped her zip it up and she whispered, "usually I have to use a pair of pliers on that one."
  • My mom mentioned that several of the older sisters in this ward have died in January - my Grandma, Kaye Pederson, Sue Burkett, and now Phyllis Howard.  There must be something to the let down and bleakness of the winter that causes strong-willed older ladies to decide to let go.
  • During my Grandpa's talk there were a couple of times when I thought my grandma, had she been sitting on the bench with us, would have put her head in her hand and sighed, "Oh, Ed" because he was a bit less than tactful (though perfectly innocent, just awkward).  He mentioned how he had married one of the daughters to her first husband, but then got off on a tangent about how she had been remarried and how that was okay, it happens to lots of people, even one in our family, etc.  Second, he mentioned how Phyllis was always really into politics, but didn't like our current president for different reasons.  He then went off on a tangent about how some people are racists.  It was a little crazy, but ok.
  • Grandpa mentioned (actually my Aunt Cindy mentioned this too, at the basketball game last night) something that I had never heard before.  Up until the 1980's, a woman could not go to the temple and be endowed if her husband wasn't a member of the Church.  Phyllis's husband was not a member and it wasn't until later in her life that she could go to the temple even though she had always been a faithful church goer.  My Aunt Cindy mentioned that when she got married, it was the first sealing that Phyllis had been to.
  • Some of Phyllis's family has stayed active in the Church and some haven't.  My Grandpa ended his talk by bearing testimony that the Church was true.  He said something to the effect of "it doesn't matter what you do or what I do, it's true.  It's a fact.  We can believe it or not, but it's true and it will always be there."  I thought that was a good way to end things.
  • My grandpa will be 84 this year.  He's the only grandparent I have left and though I don't go visit him nearly as much as I should (or as I did when my grandma was still alive), I really hope he decides to stick around for a while.



( I don't regret the decisions I've made in my life - school, job, marriage, kids, etc. - but I do sometimes think it would have been great had I had kids when I was younger so that they could have experienced how cool all of their great grandparents were.  I grew up with good memories of 4 of my great-grandparents and  my kids will only remember Grandpa Huber.  It's ok, though.  It just means that it is my job to teach them!)