For the sake of record keeping, I am posting my talk here. You don't have to read it. It's just so it gets in my blog book at the end of the year.
Geraldine Eccles Huber, My Grandma
Funeral Talk
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Grandma had a good relationship with every one of us. All of us could tell you something about Grandma that was unique and just our own.
But let's face it, I was her favorite! Why? . . . 2 reasons
· #1. Number 2's. I'm a number 2. My mom is the number 2. Grandma was the number 2. Now, as much as I love my sister and my aunt Jackie, anyone could tell you that being the second is rough and even when you're 30 or 50. Those older siblings never let up. I don't think Uncle Blaine was ever as bossy as Jackie or Annie, but Grandma just knew what it was like to be number 2.
· #2. Most all of my cousins have family names from a past on relative as either their first or middle names. I don't. I wasn't named FOR anyone, but instead I have the privilege of being named BY my Grandma. I think my mom and dad just didn't know what to do with me from day 1, so they looked to my Grandma and she said Haley Quinn. And that was that. I'm not sure the significance of Haley or Quinn or if it even matters because my grandma has always called me "HQ."
I struggled to figure out what I wanted to say today, but last night after the viewing, I think I finally had some clarity. I realized that Grandma doesn't want me to tell you about all of the nice things she did for other people, but I think that's important. So there Grandma. I also realized that if Grandma were here right now, she WOULD want me to tell you 2 things: that she loved her grandkids and she was a person who was a lot of fun.
So first, the thing she doesn't want me to talk about . . . serving other people. One of my favorite quotes is by President Spencer W. Kimball. He said “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs." I think when President Kimball said "another person" he meant my Grandma.
So what did she do? She was always active in the Church and served in a variety of callings. When I was 6, she was my primary teacher. I have always kept this Book of Mormon that she gave all of us in her class. She wrote a message in it and I still have it . . . message . . . When I turned 18, Grandma was a relief society teacher. She was the best teacher ever. She always put so much effort into her lessons. She would often ask my mom to help her with a poster, she would have a special musical number, or some type of handout. A few years ago, Bishop Searle even called my Grandma to be the Activities person again. Even though she may have grumbled about it, I think she really liked it. Unfortunately, she didn't have the legs to carry it all out, so my mom and I were back at the 4th Ward helping with ward dinners again, but that's ok. My Grandma was always proud of what she had accomplished. If it was worth doing, it was worth doing the right way.
Grandma took care of Moira and Jerry Crawford forever. They used to live in the Dimick's house across the street, but eventually moved to a little apartment on 2nd South and 7th East. Grandma still takes birthday and Christmas presents to Jerry and he calls every once in a while to talk to her about the weather. But, until Jerry got old enough to go on the bus and get groceries for them himself, Grandma would drive in town to their apartment and take them to Smith's on 9th South, every week. She would take any combination of me, Annie, or Melinda with her. We'd pick up Moira and Jerry and go to the store. We'd walk up and down every aisle with them and Grandma would give Moira a bad time about how she needed to quit smoking, but Moira would just laugh it off. After the store, we'd always get a snack. We'd either go to McDonalds or we'd eat at the Smith's deli and Grandma and I would share tater babies. Even though we usually had to drive home with the windows open, I know that Grandma was the highlight of Moira and Jerry's week and I learned the value of taking care of other people.
As you probably know, my grandparents have a swimming pool. Every summer when I was little, they would open the pool for "open plunge." Annie, and Melinda and I hated it because it meant we actually had to share the pool with other kids, but when I think about it now, my Grandma was just amazing. Why would she let all these neighborhood kids come swim in her pool? I'm sure they were brats sometimes? Their hair would clog up the filter, so she'd pass out rubber bands. She didn't charge them anything. Nobody asked her to do it. She just did it to be nice.
Everything about my Grandma is about other people. We delivered phone books, we stuffed newspapers, we took food to people in the neighborhood. She sent money to every organization who sent her calendars, notepads, and cards - the disabled veterans, the American Heart Association, Habitat for Humanity - you get the idea. She brought Jeanette Sprunt's grandkids to church for years. She took secret gifts to people on Christmas Eve. She did numerous Sub for Santa things - not with the ward or with an organization - just her. She was pretty amazing!
That's what she didn't want me to tell you. Now, let me tell you what she did want me to tell you . . . she loved her grandkids and she was just a lot of fun!
So, how do I know this? I learned how much my Grandma loved me by spending so much time in her car. She was my personal chauffer and would drive me all over the place. Being in the car meant music - the 8 track player in the old station wagon, we'd listen to the Beach Boys, the Beatles, and Neil Diamond - her cd collection in the silver buick includes Nat King Cole and Roger Miller. We'd talk, we'd laugh, and of course, we'd get treats! Yes, we were spoiled, but how do you think the Hubers got to be the size of people they are . . . plenty of french fries and Slurpies.
I was with Grandma on the happiest day of her life. No, it wasn't when her children were born or on her wedding day or on Christmas or at Disneyland. It was at McDonald's. It was the day grandma won . . . a year's supply of coke. After the people working at the Granger McDonald's figured out what in the world this lady was talking about, her prize actually came in the form of an envelope in the mail with 52 coupons for a free 12 pack. That was a good day.
Before it got to be too big a deal for Grandma to go out, she and Grandpa would get in the truck nightly and visit Jorge at Wendy's. He'd have their diet cokes with lemon ready for them at the senior discount rate.
Food has always been such a big part of our family, Grandma's house was always a house of treats. Cookies, crackers, chips, drinks, fun fruits . . . you name it, she had it . . . except the chocolate covered raisins. Until the last couple of years, they were hiding upstairs in her bedroom. She didn't want to share those treats. I was taking a survey last night at the viewing to see who the criminal grandkids were who always stole the chocolate covered raisins from their secret spot upstairs. I can just hear Grandma saying, "those dang kids were in my raisins again." Just about everyone admitted to it, but Lauren had the best reaction. She said "I didn't know Grandma got mad." Yes, Lauren, I think they were hidden upstairs for a reason.
Grandma loved to throw parties. Birthday parties, pool parties with the neighbor kids, pool parties with the grandkids, Hawaiian themed backyard parties for all the older Lakeridge people, Halloween parties, Easter parties, Grandpa Eccles parties, school's out for summer parties, Oriental-Trading-had-a-sale-parties . . . you get the idea.
Grandma put SO much effort into Christmas. She'd buy each person not one gift, but three or four gifts (or more). Multiply that by 55 of us and you can see what a big project that was. She'd load her back office room with large boxes for each family and as the packages came in the mail, she'd use her best softball pitch to chuck the gifts into the correct box. Sometimes she missed and then wrapping them would be a challenge when we couldn't find the item she was sure was there. Grandma had a little book that she would have people write in. Despite what they wrote, sometimes Grandma just knew they wrote the wrong thing and she definitely had her own rules for present shopping. According to Grandma, Uncle Steve will always wear a large. Uncle Jerry will always wear a medium. Natalie only wears sweaters with large necks. She was certain she did not get Big John sports video the year before. And, she'd always buy the same or similar gifts for who she called the triplets - Elliott, Conner, and Luke - the other triplets - Wyatt, Max, and Cody - and the twins - Molly and Cole.
Oh . . . and socks. Do you know why you get socks from Grandma for Christmas? Well, despite the Eccles name, Grandma grew up very, very poor. She never had new socks to wear and instead had to wear socks that her mother had mended so many times, they made her feet blister. She swore that her kids and grandkids would NEVER have to wear mended socks.
Grandma was sick for a long time, but she never stopped being our enthusiastic, fun Grandma. A few weeks ago, Molly and I went to visit one night. Grandpa had gone to the store with Lori's help. We walked in the front door making as much noise as possible, but Grandma's head was down on the kitchen table as it had been a lot lately. We yelled, "Hello . . . Hello . . . " but it wasn't until we actually got in the kitchen and I yelled as loud as I could that Grandma sat up. She couldn't see. Her hair was a bit crazy. She was coughing. Her leg was still bruised from a fall just before Christmas. She must have felt absolutely miserable. When no one was watching, she couldn't even hold he head up. But when someone came around to visit, she tried so hard to still be our fun, enthusiastic Grandma. That night, she was so happy to see Molly there. She talked to Molly, Molly giggled, and that made her day.
I think my Grandma may have known the end was near. She even wrote a note in my Christmas card this year. . . . I'm not sure I deserved any kind of note like that because to be honest, my grandma was a light in all of our lives. She was the kindest, most stubborn lady you could ever meet. She'd give you a hug and tell you she loved you one minute and chew you out for something she didn't like the next. She had high expectations for all of us and was determined to teach us to be the best we could be.
I love my Grandma Huber and I'm sure she had a wonderful reunion with her mother and other family members on Saturday. She will be greatly missed, but she also left quite a legacy. As grandkids, it is our job to keep Grandma's memory alive. I challenge us all to be the best people we can be, to look out for others who may be in need, and to always have a great outlook on life. If you're not happy, fake it for a while, and eventually you will be.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
