16 January 2010

Its A . . . . . . .



GIRL!

James and I went for our second big ultrasound yesterday and found out that we are, for sure, having a girl. She wasn't 100% cooperative with everything they were looking for, but was a least in a good enough position that we could see she was a girl.

She wiggled around a little bit and had her hands up close by her chin. Oh, how cute!

We stopped by Penney's later on and I could finally buy something that didn't have a duck or a frog on it. I think this may be the first time in my life I have ever purchase anything pink. Look at the little lamb!

14 January 2010

Reflective Ramblings

I've been a little weird lately. Maybe it's hormonal. Maybe it's a chemical imbalance. Maybe I need drugs besides just vitamins. I don't know. James gave me some new music for Christmas, including a John Mayer album that I had, but had lost. I've had it in my car this week and have been listening to this particular song in a more contemplative way. I liked the song before, but now it puts me into this strange melancholy mood.

Life is changing, for the best of course, but just changing. I worry about our baby (who hopefully after tomorrow will no longer be gender-neutral to the outside world). I worry about my grandparents. I got all choked up one morning driving to school at the line "Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go." I don’t think it was a reaction to my parents necessarily, but my grandparents, or rather my grandmas. One is definitely looking after me and taking care of things on the other side, but I don't know how I'll ever cope with the other one leaving.

Life just keeps moving and I guess I hope that I’m doing the best that I can and doing what I should be doing. It just seems like there’s more to accomplish in one day than is humanly possible and yet, are all of the things on my “to do” list really things I should be doing. Are my priorities straight? I don’t know anymore.

Stop This Train lyrics

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

Once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train