I think I scared the (blank) out of it!

Today I was driving to Tooele. It was the last time I will ever drive to work to teach school in Tooele. How does the beauty of Tooele County tell me thanks?

I had just gotten off the freeway and was driving over the off ramp into Lake Point. All of a sudden there was a seagull. It is within inches of my winshield. I thought, "Oh no. I am going to hit it." Well, I didn't hit it. It moved just in the nick of time. But, at that same instant I thought I was safe, it splattered. Gray and white chunky streaks. All over the entire windshield. I am not exaggerating. It was covering every square inch of the glass. I could hardly see.

I stopped at a gas station to squeegy my windshield so that I could see out it again. The gray and white matter was also all over the hood. YUCK!

What else did the seagull do today? When I got to school, I went to open my classroom. Wrong keys. I had the spare car key, shed key, and bike lock key. Not my school keys. It was the seagull's fault.

I stopped for gas on the way home. I squeegied the car a second time to get the spots I missed before. I dripped major squeegy water all over my flip-flopped feet. Yuck! It was the seagull's fault.

I continued on my way home. I am peacefully driving along and then interrupted. SPLAT! A large, 50-cent-piece-sized seagull poop. Splat in the center of my windshield. Although I didn't see the bird, it was definitely the same seagull. The bird poopy matched the original stuff exactly!

I finally got home. I went upstairs to stand in the bathtub and wash the bird poop gooey squeegy water off my feet. I stood in the tub, fully clothed mind you. I was just washing my feet. I turned the water on. The shower came on! I was wet. I turned it off as quick as I could, but I was really wet. My shirt sleeve was soaked and my hair had to be blown dry and fixed. Definitely the seagull's fault!